The other day I was discussing with a friend over the depths of fear around sex, and the degree of trauma as we decide it to be.
I will tell you the same thing I told her, so you get the chance to stop traumatizing yourselves pointless and useless, and that just because you don’t want to, or are too scared to own your sexual energy, your desires and cravings.
I have encountered among my clients, friends and family the notion that they “had to learn how to like sex” because, and let the drums beat, they had traumas around the subject, and that trauma was linked to childhood memories when they marked an event, or an adult’s gesture as a sexual abuse.
Let’s see… As a child everything you know about sex is what adults teach you. If you were caught playing with your genitals they told you it’s a bad thing, that you should be ashamed. You absorb adults behaviour, beliefs and reactions towards sex, towards your own sexuality and follow the same pattern until you decide as an adult it’s time to own your shit and break loose from all the stories.
At an early age you don’t get to decide what an abuse is, but it is rather decided for you, and as a young adult and later on you basically let those beliefs manage how you cathegorise events.
I’m not talking here about real physical sexual abuse, I’m talking about the so called abuses that happen in our minds.
I had a client once that has convinced herself that she was abused by a man, and that she no longer could even stay in same room with him, because he would somehow subdue her into sleeping with him. Instead of owning the fact of desiring that man, and the fact she really wanted to have sex with him, regardless of his social status and her belief that sex was a sin, she ended up creating an illusion of a trauma that only served all those childhood patterns and limiting beliefs.
I see this a lot actually. Women telling themselves men are the worst in our species, that they only want sex, that they are abusers, and many many emotional harming stories, rather than shutter those boundaries of self censorship and admit that they have desires, they want to express that passion trough their bodies, share it with others and experience sexual energy without shame, guilt, without fear of not being socially attire.
It is sad how a mind not willing to let go creates an evil myth around a simple touch, a simple gesture of affection or a simple and natural attraction.
One of the Universe’s law is the law of Masculine and Feminine. Whenever these energies meet they are bound to merge so they can create. And the interesting thing is that the Feminine is the one who initiates the merging action!
So, in order to have fulfilling healthy sexual encounters, just open up to your own desires. Admit you want it, you need it, and stop judging. Stop vilifying everything and everyone when it comes to sex, and stop fucking creating demons where they are not.
Why is it ok to crave for chocolate and craving for a penis or a vagina is a sacrilege? Give your body sugar instead of sex, touching, climax, and wonder why you gain weight!
Be my guest and deny yourselves the pleasure and expansion of your own consciousness trough sex! But wouldn’t it be so much fun to actually use our God given bodies and experience through them the first Big Bang?
Both men and women create an endless victimisation just because they want to be good boys and girls who respect tradition.
I say this cheap manipulation only serves those who want to be in control.
Any tradition that says I’m not a worthy, beautiful, whole, sexually empowered human needs to come to an end.
As for you, decide you want to be your own masters, let that passion and desire surface and enjoy the ride! Decide what you want to experience and how and let go of those shackles that no longer serve you!